is she out there? is there really a woman who can do it all?
This past Friday was our monthly DMoms meeting. (that's my abbreviation, it's really DiscoveryMOMS.) We had a very nice speaker who was there to talk about reducing our stress, and making sure we are taking care of ourselves. I desperately needed to hear what she had to say... but I really only walked away with one thing.
I already knew that it was good for me to get out alone every once and a while, but it rarely happens. And date nights.... don't remember the last one. I also know that you don't have to live up to the "Jones'," but still, everyone tries. We actually got into a conversation about Christmas cards and how much pressure it was every year to get the perfect picture, pick the perfect card, and then to get it out on time....that is, BEFORE Christmas. One woman told us how her friend actually decided to mail out Christmas cards in May. Crazy right? But the explanation was, people could either look at it as being very late, or very early. The whole point of Christmas cards, is to spread a little love and joy, and to connect with loved ones. Not to show off.
As a side note, we did our cards online at Costco this year. It was $14.99 for 50, and $4.99 for the next 25. That included envelopes and they were ready in 24 hours. And the pictures, well I took about 20 un-posed pictures of Ava playing by her little tree. Yes, she was in her Christmas dress, but it wasn't a big deal. We both had fun, and it wasn't stressful. Had we done the three of us in a picture, THAT would have been stressful!
Back to the subject...So what's the one thing I walked away with last Friday? There is such a thing as a Good Enough Mom! It's hard to swallow, I know. But in reality, no one is perfect and if you're posing as Supermom, you're hiding something. There is NO possible way to do it all. But, (gotta love the but!) we can do infinitely more and be better and good enough, with God's help.
I hate to clean! We all know this, it's not a secret. But I do like keeping my house organized even it it's not white glove clean. I probably straighten up my house, at least the downstairs part, 5 or 6 times a day. I'm not OCD, I have a hurricane named Ava that follows me around and destroys everything I pick up. I'd show pictures to prove it, but honestly, it's a too embarrassing. Anyway, because I don't clean the whole house all the time, doesn't mean I'm not a good mom. I clean when its necessary... it's good enough. Our house is "lived in," not sterile.
One of my best friends, Amanda, is an amazing mother. She lives over 3 hours away, and I've never met her son (oh so sad, it's been a year since I've seen her!), but I know how much she does, and she is just amazing. She not only takes care of the house, her husband and son, but also teaches Zumba classes at least 3 nights a week (I believe), and is taking classes to get her masters in Christian Counseling. Wow, I don't know how she does it! And I'm sure there is more than that. But she has a great support team close by to help her out, and most of all Jesus. I look up to her for all she can do and is doing, as well as to her relationship with Christ. (I try not to be jealous!)
The past two weeks were crazy for me, and I thought of Amanda a lot. Not only was I getting ready for the DMoms meeting, I'm the Fellowship Coordinator, but I was also trying to throw a baby shower, take care of my Avon business, and get the extra church work I had, done. There is no way I could have done all of that, plus kept my house cleaned, taken care of Ava, gotten to the grocery store, cooked for our family, SLEPT, and spent any time with my husband. Not to mention taking care of myself (showers, food, etc.) And having difficulty getting into the holiday spirit this year only added more stress. But God got me through the past two weeks, and now I'm thoroughly enjoying doing nothing, or little to nothing, this week. And that's with his help too. Otherwise I'd probably be filling up my time with nonsense when I should be enjoying my time with Ava.
I know I'm not Supermom, and I definitely won't try to be. But I can be good enough with God's help. For without him, I'm just not enough.
Oh, and good news, we are getting a date night. It's more of an anniversary celebration, but we're getting to go out to dinner and a move in two weeks. Yay!
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2 comments:
Yay for a date night! I feel as though I could have written many of those things too. I think one of the biggest problems sometimes is the Internet. You know, it used to be, families got dressed up and got their pictures taken once a year. You may have 15 pics of a child taken all year long, including b-days and holidays. Now, we have access to everything everyone does at any minute of any day. C'mon, people aren't going to post a pic of their hair a holy mess and mismatched PJs or crusty yogurt on their kids faces (usually), mainly because the camera comes out when things look fun to document...only sometimes does dried food seem cute! Point is, it's so very EASY to think pictures on a blog or a FB page tell about a person's life. Just remember, if your pictures aren't 100% all your life consists of, then neither are anybody else's. We're all far more alike than we are different. We're sinners in need of the Lord's grace and mercy for our selfish, worldly desires...the only thing good in us is Christ. If you look at anything I post and think it looks like it's all good, you're only seeing a blessing from Him, and you can assume the rest is an absolute disaster in need of progress---then you'd be correct ;)
yes, i think you are right. if you ever assume someone is a super mom...then you probably haven't spent enough time with her:)
it's a shame so many women women feel they need to do it all. it is enough to love your husband and your children...manage your home and find some time for a bath. a noble profession indeed with many eternal and earthy rewards:)
i'm proud of you sarah...you are doing a good job!
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