on my mind...

lately I've had a lot on my mind, and its been a variety of things not just one thing in particular. So this post will be sort of a hodge podge of things, I guess I need to empty my mind.

Yesterday was Nathan's first day at his new job. We are both so excited for the new possibilities that this job will bring. His first day consisted of lots of paperwork of course, and also watching videos (really?) about policies and procedures. I guess thats better than having to read it all in a manual, I really hated that when I started a new job. So far he says everyone is nice, but again, like at Medrad, the next closest person in age is a guy in his early 30s. Oh well. What can we say, we're young!

I think today is supposed to be more of the same, paperwork and getting acquainted with his surroundings. I'm sure before long he will be thrown headfirst into training so they can get him started on the "good stuff" the actual design. That is after all the whole reason for taking this job, Nathan wanted more design experience, the hands on stuff he did in college.
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More recently as I've been doing my quiet times, and also other times throughout my day, I've had a great desire (thank you God!) to be a better child of God's, to be a better wife and soon mother, a better friend, a better Christian. I've always had this desire, but as our lives are changing quickly these days it seems to be more intense. So I've read up and searched through my bible taking away verses and passages about how I can do better and be better. But even then sometimes I'm left asking myself, how do I do that? This past weekend, God showed me what true generosity and true love is all about, and it blessed me more than I can even explain.

Some friends of ours *Jamie & Kyle were married somewhat recently. They were truly blessed at their wedding in the monetary sense... at least thats what they've told us. Anyway, Jamie's sister and brother-in-law have been trying for some time now to get pregnant and have been unsuccessful. And even when I think I know how that feels since we tried for almost a year and many of our friends were getting pregnant, I have no clue what it would be like for two years to pass by and have nothing happen. The couple has been trying all kinds of procedures and still nothing. As most people know, trying to get pregnant, especially when medical help is needed, can be costly. So when this last treatment failed, and it didn't look like there would be another one, Jamie & Kyle stepped in. They took some of their wedding money and gave it to their family for one more chance at a miracle.

God's timing will always be a mystery to me, but his love... his love is no mystery, and it is so evident when God is working in someones life. Nathan and I are truly blessed to know Jamie & Kyle and to see God working through them. It makes me/us want to go out and share God's love. My heart (as well as my mind) has been so burdened lately for Jamie's sister as so many of our friends here are getting pregnant. I've been praying a lot about it and hope that God leads me to a place where I know if there is any room for me to do anything, whether it be a kind word or a note, or anything for that matter.

*names have been changed
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Yesterday was also the first full day of camp at Cowen. Most of you have no clue what Camp Cowen is, or where it is. Cowen is a tiny tiny town in Central WV, and is home to the WV Baptist Camp (Camp Cowen for short). Years ago, I'd have to ask my Grandmother as to exactly when, my Great Grandfather helped start Camp Cowen. G-Grandpa Eber loved children, and he wanted so badly for them to know Jesus, so they started this camp where children from all over WV could come and spend a week at camp with other children and learn about Jesus and God. It has become tradition in our family that everyone goes, at least once. Of course not everyone loves camp... you do have to stay in an un-air conditioned cabin, use a bath house (not an outhouse!) and eat cafeteria style food for a week (I like the food, it really isn't bad). But if you can live with that, everything else makes up for it.

I've been going to Cowen since I was just little. My Grandma went, my Dad went, my Mom even went as a counselor when she was older, and last year Nathan was able to go to Cowen for a few days. But this year, we had to sit out... at 8-1/2 months pregnant, I probably wouldn't be able to keep up with the kids like I should. Not to mention the fact that there isn't any escape from the heat there, and right now I need that.

So when my family left on Saturday to head to Cowen, counselors always go a day early, they called to say they missed us. Its hard to miss camp, to see how God is working through the cuonselors to reach the children, to see how God is working in the children to reach the counselors, and just to experience God's presence so easily and clearly. I rarely feel physically closer to God then when I am at camp.

There are so many things about camp that are wonderful, I could probably write about it for hours. For me, especially as a counselor now, I love getting up early in the morning before the kids are awake, getting ready, and then having a quiet time. Usually I'm in the dark, letting the kids sleep as long as possible, reading my bible or writing in my journal, or sometimes just listening to the sounds around me. God's fingerprints are everywhere in Cowen, as we're right in the middle of nature. I love listening to the brooks and streams outside the cabins, the birds in the morning when they wake up, and even the rustle of leaves and rain or dew drops as they fall. Its such a peaceful time. Then when camp comes alive and we are all in full swing there is never a moment without energy. We go from breakfast to cabin cleanup, to morning songs in Hilbert hall, then on to small groups and lunch. We do try to sneak in an afternoon nap, we ALL need it, and then start up again with some free time, swimming and 4 square, porch games, and always the favorite store time where we can buy sweets of almost any kind. The day keeps going with dinner and evening activities, evening Vespers (like a bible study), and then we end the day with a campfire.

Time at Cowen is wonderful, and I will miss it this year. Hopefully we will get back there next year. And in a few years, when Ava is old enough to be a camper, I hope she will be able to go and experience the wonder, the fun, the God place, that is Camp Cowen.
(of course until then we'll just tote her along with us...everyone always makes a fuss over babies, there will be plenty of babysitters!)

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as if it isn't on my mind every day all day long, our life is about to change. Every time I pull up our blog and see our countdown until our due date I am always surprised to see how quickly the numbers have fallen. As of today we have 44 days... 44 DAYS!!!!!! Just the thought of that puts me into a panic mode. I feel like there is so much left to do, to buy, to get ready....not to mention we still have to decide on a middle name. And then when I realize that she could actually come sooner than that, I just want to run and hide. Okay, not really, but it does make it ever more real. But the one thing that always calms me down is the thought that in 44 days, or so, I am going to meet the most precious gift that God has ever given me (minus Jesus of course.)

I don't know that I'm ready for this Mommy thing, I think I am, or at least I thought I was. And I guess God wouldn't have given Ava to us if we weren't ready... right? Well, maybe not. At least I know He will be by my side always, and even when I feel alone and completely overwhelmed, He will be there.

I've wondered how its all going to work out. Going back to Nathan's new job, I know he will have a lot on his plate, and then when you add school onto that... well who knows when I'll even see Nathan. Just Kidding. But things will become more difficult. I can't imagine if I didn't have God in my life and on my side. For so long I've thought that this would be the worst place to start a family. I am 4 hours from my Mom, 3 from my Dad, 2 to 4 hours from my best friends, how in the world was I supposed to do this? But God has blessed us with new friends, and a new church, and lots of experienced mothers who have already offered to help. I'm even excited there is a MOPS group here that I can join. We have become so settled in our life here in the past two months, that my fear has gone away. Yeah, I'm still a bit nervous, as most first time moms are I figure. But again, God has proven faithful and shown me his love by giving me/us wonderful friends who are willing to help. Thank you God!

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I also have been thinking a lot about all the babies that will be coming into this world soon. Every baby is a miracle, and that is why my heart goes out to those who are struggling.

In just a few short weeks, or any day now really, we will welcome baby Trent and baby Addi into the world. They will be our "nephew" and our "niece," babies of our best friends. Then shortly thereafter Ava should arrive. We just found out this weekend that close friends of ours here are pregnant and due in the spring (congratulations John & Val!!!) and there is another set of friends on Nathan's softball team who just told us they are expecting/due in Feburary. We also have friends who after trying for 3 years are pregnant, and we couldn't be happier for them. And of course there are other people we know who are also pregnant.

I've been praying for all these babies and all of their parents. It amazed me how even more excited I am now about people having babies. I don't now if its because we have something else in common, or if its just the joy that children bring. Either way, all of these little ones are blessings and we can't wait to meet them.

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Amazingly, my mind is somewhat empty now. With all of that out of the way, its time to start my day. I hope you enjoy yours!