trusting...

My best friends... at least 3 of them. I love these women, and it breaks my heart that I don't get to see them every day like I used to. It is such a privilege now when we get to go home and see everyone. This picture was taken about 3 weeks ago at Lauren's shower, and we all had such a great time. I didn't know when we would all be together again, so we took this picture... all four of us pregnant! What could be better than having three of your best friends pregnant at the same time you are, going through some of the same things you are, and having them to talk to when you've complained enough to your husband?

Its not my friends that I have a hard time trusting, but it is them that fuels the desire in my heart to go home. That desire is what sometimes leaves me not completely trusting in God. Lately I have found myself wanting to move home more and more. I've even gone as far to see if there were any jobs for Nathan near Morgantown. I'm sure a lot of it is hormones and my emotions taking a toll on me, but no matter what, I can't get this desire to go away.

I was so excited when Nathan and I set out on our first adventure and moved to Virginia, but very shortly after getting there we realized how much we missed our friends and family. We spent many weekends traveling back to WV. Finally after 7 months we made a move closer to home, and its been so much better. But... there is always a but, I still would rather be closer to our friends an family. More and more, especially now that we're expecting, I want to be closer to my Mom and my friends for support. Yes, we have a couple friends here, but certain circumstances have kept us from being as close. Then again, we haven't been through the same years and experiences with friends here as we did with people at home.

I could go on with a huge list of other things that I'm not a fan of up here, but that would definitely cross the line into complaining, and I'm trying to be better about that. Anyway, this morning during my quiet time I was reading a few different passages and I thought about how God used to audibly talk to people and send others with his Word. I wanted God to talk to me, and wondered why he didn't do that so much anymore. It was then that one of my favorite verses jumped off the page at me.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

God may not have spoken so that my ears could hear him, but he did speak to my heart. Even if I hate being here away from our friends and family, I have to trust in God that he has us here for a reason, and that I am not alone, and he will provide for me. He knows that I need friends, family, fellowship, and support. God may not bring us more friends here in Pittsburgh, but he can fill the void that we/I feel. He already began helping me feel better with a simple phone call from Amanda Jo. With such a busy schedule she is often hard to get a hold of, but God knew I needed a little 'pick-me-up' today and I believe had her call. What a blessing!

I know I have to trust God with all aspects of my desire, unhappiness, loneliness, etc.. I do pray that he will ease and quiet my desire to go home if that isn't what he has in mind for us. Even if I don't understand, I'm reminding myself to trust in God... we're here for a reason!