what a day...

its days like today that really get to me. Since leaving West Virginia almost two years ago, I haven't had a steady job. When we were in Virginia/DC I had two jobs, one was a one week temp. job and the other I didn't get until two months before we left. When we got to Pittsburgh I was so excited about getting a job, surely there would be lots of opportunity in the 'big' city. But little did I know the troubles I would run into here.

Its been over one year since we've been here and I still don't have a job. Okay, I have a job working for a friend of mine in WV, but its not steady and my pay doesn't do much but pay for my gas to drive down there once a week. I don't mean to complain, I do enjoy keeping my skills in autocad fresh, and it makes me feel good to know that I am helping my boss out. But days like today, really reach down inside of me and pull the desire for a real job to the surface. Now, you might be reading this and saying, this lady is crazy...why does she want a job so badly? Its not the job I want, as much as the desire to help us out financially. Sure, I don't have to work, but by not working I feel like I shouldn't buy extra things, want to go out on dates, eat out once in a blue moon, etc. If we had a second income, we could do more and I wouldn't feel so bad if I wanted to go shopping, or needed a new winter coat like I just did last week. (I love cooler weather)

In the past year, I've received a few calls about local jobs, nothing ever fitting. I've gone on interviews, nothing ever panning out. Yesterday morning before I headed to Morgantown I received a call from a headhunter who was looking for a project manager of sorts. I listened to her description of the job and realized I needed to let it sink in so I asked for an email with the info in it, so I could consider it. I got the email and looked over it, it looked all right, but I'm not perfect for the job. I'm qualified in most every way when it comes to education but the job seems quite daunting. I made the decision after talking with Nathan, that I could interview for the position but that I wouldn't be totally sure until I learned more. So I've put that one the backburner until I hear more. I also have a contact that is supposed to call me in a week or so about a part time position with a restaurant designer. Sounds pretty cool to me, but its on hold too. These are the last jobs I've even heard of around there in the past 5 months! Crazy.

I feel like I've tried, but have I really? That question always come up on days like today.... you probably would like to know what happened today that caused all of this huh? Well, this morning I spent 3-1/2 hours at the auto shop getting my car inspected and having emissions tests run, only to find out I needed (at least thats what they said) 4 new tires. Most of your know that my car is only a year old, and I guess its possible, but I didn't think tires wore out that quickly. Oh, and they didn't give me a full year of inspection/emissions... they said it was their policy to match my stickers to my license plates... well they didn't do that last year!

After my morning there I went to pay our township income taxes. The lovely state of PA not only taxes your income once a year like all other states, but they also tax your income just for living here. Every quarter I go and pay a % of our income to Hampton Township, and even though I don't work in the state, I still have to pay.

I definitely could have spent even more money today, but I decided to forgo the oil change that the Mazda also needs, the trip to Walmart and the grocery store.

I often get down on myself for not having a job and helping out more around here. After the house fiasco, I felt that way...."why couldn't I have a job so we had more money?" etc. Let me ask you, do any of you ever feel that way? Many of my friends are stay at home moms, which is wonderful... but I often wonder if this ever crosses their minds. I know from all of this that even after we have children I will want to stay connected and work part-time. I love working from home, so hopefully I can work something like that out.

If you have ever felt the way I do, I'd love to hear your story and if you ever overcame the struggle. I know I can't do it alone, but God can help me through it, (he may use you to help me) he has already saved me from great bouts of despession. I will keep praying for a job, and I have total faith that God will bring something my way. A lot of my studying and learning from church/groups has been about faith lately. It has been mostly about having true constant faith and not asking God to show us continually so we'll believe. I've been able to apply that to my life in a different way, and I feel lucky for the amazing faith in God that I do have.

Well, its getting late and I need to get stuff in order so I can pass out candy and then head to bible study. Have a great evening and I'll see you back here tomorrow.

buying a house part II...

so..... a lot has happened in 24 hours. As of yesterday afternoon everything was going forward, we were going to be home owners. But late last night, after phone calls to parents for advice, many tears and discussions, we have decided to back out. Shocking? Tell me about it. But, after sleeping on it, its probably for the best. We can continue to save our money and hopefully put enough away for a good down payment, and when we are ready we can try again.
Buying a house is stressful, and honestly, I probably wasn't mentally ready for it. I wasn't ready for another disappointment, I wasn't ready for the fall out, and I wasn't ready for the day I had yesterday. Not only did we lose the house that we were both looking forward to, but I was swamped with work. My boss has been on vacation for the past two weeks and so my work load was extremely light. Yesterday I was completely bombarded with work... I was even pulled out of the shower to complete something... oh, I work at home for those of you who are wondering why I was in the shower at work... and I had asked if it was okay if I stepped away for a few minutes and take a shower. But after my hectic work day I rushed off to a girls night out with my new friend Sally Ann. Sally Ann is a 'southern girl' and soooo sweet. She is a Mary Kay rep., and although I had done the Mary Kay thing before, I desperately wanted some time out of the house, so I agreed to a makeover and some free chocolate.
That part of my day/night was wonderful. It truly was my first time out of the house in a very long time. It was much needed. I think God knew I needed that little bit of time before the he opened the flood gates and washed it all away. So I am thankful for my time with my new friend Sally Ann, for the wonderful chocolate I got to eat last night (I am a chocoholic), for the free time outside of the house, and for the calm before the storm. I am also thankful for the lesson that we learned from this proccess. God is good, even if the outcome doesn't seem so good.
Thank you for your prayers... next time I'll wait until we actually buy the house before I say anything ;o)

buying a home...

isn't all its cracked up to be! Since moving to Pittsburgh a year ago, Nathan and I have looked into buying a house a few times. Sounds exciting doesn't it? Buying a house? Yeah, we thought so, but every time we started looking into it we were reminded of the amazingly high tax rates here in the burgh. Currently we live north of the city, which we love... Nathan works up here, its easy to get to I79 so we can go home (WV), our new church is up here, the schools are some of the best, and we are surrounded by great communities/neighborhoods. With everything as wonderful as it seems, you sure do pay for it.
We've recently been looking into a few different options. One option was to buy a house that is in real need of fixing. We'd literally have to keep our apartment while we replaced all the flooring, put in a new kitchen with all new appliances, painted everything, etc. We really liked the idea of a house, all to our own, as well as the idea of fixing it up the way we wanted. Once we looked over the costs and time it would take, we decided it wasn't something we should do right now. So, this past weekend we put in a bid on a townhouse. Its just beautiful inside, and perfect for us. But...(there is always a but) we're dealing with a seller who wants every penny and isn't willing to budge, even a little. We made an offer, he made a counter offer, we made a counter offer, he said he wanted more money... we're waiting. 10 phone calls in a matter of a couple of hours and we decide to put a hold on everything. We're hoping that he will give in and take our last offer and give up on sqeezing us dry. It honestly wouldn't be so bad except with the taxes, (as I mentioned before) you add at least $300 onto your mortgage... and I guess that wouldn't be so bad if we had lower priced houses. Just another thing we miss about WV.
Anyway, I'll keep you posted on how it all turns out, but if you would, say a little prayer for us?

on another note: Welcome to our adventure!